Press Pause

Les-tarots-Delaporte

For some time now I have been feeling less of a compulsion to write here. I have been feeling something akin to obligation. This bothers me. I receive a new deck and wonder whether I ought to put words to what I think and write a review here. Or maybe just enjoy it in silence. I do readings for myself and find that I’d rather keep it private. How odd in the age of facebook. Something I have been reflecting on recently is how my relationship with tarot, Lenormand or just cards has changed. I think about how much it used to thrill me when I first discovered card-reading. It still thrills me, but in different ways. I first got interested in tarot in the very early 1980s and the information that I absorbed at this time was very much a product of that late 70s, early 80s scene which was dominated by Kaplan and the decks of the period, 1JJ Swiss, Royal Fez Moroccan, plus The Encyclopedia of Tarot, Volume I (and no others). There were no study groups that I knew of. I learnt tarot alone. I studied meanings alone. There was no internet, no forums, no networking groups and all the other elements which have given a sense of community to card-reading over the last few years. Being an essentially solitary person, I feel an urge to return to the introspection which I think is such a instrinsic part of my relationship with tarot and which has been obfuscated by watching (and inadvertently hearing) others learn in groups. I have nothing against it and I am not criticising anyone who does it. We all learn in different ways. But I feel a need for silence right now. I feel a need to continue my journey in a vacuum for a while, to block out the noise, the crackle of interference and let tarot and card-reading speak to me on more intimate terms. In short, I want to be alone for a while. I’m sure it is just for a while, in order to loosen that uncomfortable grip of perpetually  feeling that I really ought to write a post. I received a deck last week – a wonderful deck – a deck that excited me and (rubbing my hands) thought that, over the weekend, I would dutifully write a review. Then I received a new tarot book the day after, which got me thinking in different directions. Maybe I could write a review of that? Or maybe I could just keep quiet and inwardly digest, overcome the urge to say what I think and just read and come to my conclusions in silence, pull away like a boat from the shore. Oh but I see the Magic Realist Press are about to issue the third edition of the Bohemian Gothic Tarot which I love so much. Surely I won’t be able to contain myself when that one comes out? Well if I do feel I want to shout from the rooftops, I suppose I will do. But I think a period of silence and isolation is what attracts me right now. This has come about in part (OK, I shall be honest) from my own reaction to much of the Lenormand learning I see around me – disparate voices, disparate interpretations, a sense of clambouring – and some advice I have said to newbies again and again; learn in a vacuum. If you keep listening to all those voices out there, you’ll find yourself in a muddle. But like I say, people learn in different ways and who am I to stipulate what works best? I know how I learn and I want to do what’s best for me to keep my love of card-reading intact. This almost sounds like a retirement. It isn’t meant to. It’s a brief pause for breath from which I shall bounce back. Or not. I have a full life and I don’t to waste unnecessary effort on galloping to try and keep up with myself. Plus I have enough obligations. And life is too short for obligations. Above all, I want silence. And a rest. I want to bolt the door and look awhile at my cards without the disorting mirror of very public appreciation. I think I learn better that way. I shall be back I’m sure.

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About Le Fanu

Tarot collector in a far off land; loves ghost stories, magick, tarot, wistfulness, spookiness, Victorian spiritism, ectoplasm...
This entry was posted in Random Reflections, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Press Pause

  1. I love your posts and reviews and you will be missed (which makes the heart grow fonder). But you have to do what feels right to you. I got into Lenormand about a year before the craze began and i can see where you’re coming from and agree. I am trying to find and learn just reading regular playing cards and the Ettilia (sp) which i had heard from your posts. Enjoy the quiet time my friend, and know that when the time comes for you to return, there will be many waiting.

    Joel (ghost271 on AT)

  2. Good on you! So many don’t listen to that inner voice… not surprised that you do. Enjoy the journey :)

  3. alan booker says:

    Hope you will be back one day, love all your posts, the cards seem to come alive under your magical touch. Thank you for the joy you have brought me and enjoy what I (selfishly) hope will be a break from here.

  4. Moonboweve says:

    Two years ago I ‘left the scene’ and now my cards and my interest have a new freshness and I have a deeper understanding. I’ve gone back to when my interest in cards first started and I’m loving it. Taking the daily commitment I had away has given me freedom to blog when I feel like it, do my own thing, and play with my cards the way I want to. I completely understand.

  5. Tarot Cirkel says:

    I took a 6 week break myself a few months ago, I saw it as a period of mental hygiene.
    Enjoy your non-blogging period, I’m sure it will be very inspiring.

  6. lizeff says:

    This post was very timely for me. I also have felt a need to pull back and be alone. I have stopped checking the groups on Facebook. I found that by listening to so many other voices I was starting to lose my own voice, and vision. I’ll be looking forward to your columns when you reappear.

  7. Entendo e respeito seus motivos. É bom dar uma pausa e recarregar as baterias vez por outra. Frequento muito seu blog e vou continuar frequentando para ler, como faço sempre, postagens antigas sobre baralhos que estejam me interessando no momento. Vou também sentir falta de novas postagens. Estou meio que acostumado a ver as novidades no seu blog. Gosto especialmente das suas fotos. São muito bonitas! Bom, curta suas férias e volte quando o coração mandar, que espero que seja breve.

  8. Le Fanu says:

    Thank you everyone for the kind words. I am sure that with a break, distance, introspection, reflection, I shall not be able to remain silent for long. Writing here (because I do think of it as a place) brings me pleasure. I just need to stop for a while, take a breather, remember what it is I love about cards. Rediscover the urge to describe the things I love. Thanks again everyone. E Claudio – muitissimo obrigado pelas tuas palavras simpáticas. Sempre achava q as minhas fotos eram um pouco desfocadas comparadas com as outras q vejo na net mas pronto… Abraços.

  9. I applaud you for honoring your need to go within to silence in this age of sharing everything…and perhaps too much. As a fellow blogger, I understand what you mean about posting sometimes out of a feeling of duty. Perhaps the day will come when I, too, feel called inward and take a break or stop. For now, I write when the muse hits me, and don’t when it’s just not there. I know it’s not consistent this way, but it works for me and we must all honor our inner voice.

    I’m relatively new Lenormand reader who feels she has found her home. I’m learning via modern technology, finding my mentors on You Tube, in blogs and in the forums. Not having a direct mentor to teach me at this time, I appreciate those who share so freely and have added my voice as well to do the same for others if I can.

    Blessings on your journey, and thank you for what you share of it with the rest of us.

  10. Bonjour Le Fanu,

    To attract you back to us what could I do best than announcing you that me and Wilfried Houdouin have 5 Tarot of Marseille and Tarot of Besancon Patterns ‘s decks in our close project of reproduction.
    Restored version or facsimile versions.
    I don’t give decks names anymore juste to tease you a bit more ha ha !!

    Have a nice new period in you Lifepath.

    Salutations from Marseille City Capitale of Tarot

    Yves Le Marseillais & Wilfried

  11. sapienza says:

    Enjoy the silence. I’m sure it will be perfect.

  12. Ivanna Luna says:

    Hi Le Fanu
    We will be here just in case you want to break your silence
    Regards.

  13. Dan S says:

    Le Fanu, I just wanted to thank you for this fantastic archive of your thoughts! It has been a pleasure to read all of your posts. They are full of insight, and I find myself referring back to them frequently. Your blog has been a major source of inspiration for my own tarot journey, and I’m sincerely hoping you will find the desire to write here again at some point!

  14. Follow your inner wind, that’s the best thing to do. You didn’t have to write a post to justify yourself :) We take what you offer, and we are grateful for the exchange, but there is NO obligation, you don’t owe us anything. You’re free.

    I find this period is pretty adequate to silence and retirement myself. I am just too eager to share most of the time to listen and be able to sit down. But I working on this inner twist and contradiction.

  15. Yes, I completely understand.

    I left forums and Facebook many years ago. My card reading came on leaps and bounds with a journal and little to no interaction with others. These days, I blog each day but I am more relaxed about what deck I use and what I feel ‘I am supposed to do’. And it is so much more fun. Forums and groups, especially, killed my spirit.

    Enjoy your time away. It will do you the power of good :)

  16. winterchild says:

    I too have been on pause from the online Tarot community for a few months. I agree about the Lenormand furore, it has me running for my cave. I have avoided my 2 lenormand decks as a result of the noise of the crowd. Sometimes our bliss moves, and thats ok, as long as we takle heed and follow.

    Have a great holiday season.

  17. Le Fanu – I only read your thoughtful, heartfelt posts when I’m relaxed and unhurried as they must be savored like fine brandy. I’m sure a period of winter hibernation will deepen and renew your spirits. Your friends and fans will rejoice when you re-emerge.

  18. Lotus Padma says:

    Miss you already ;) Enjoy the break! I sometimes go weeks without the computer – and love it! Your own fine mind is the best computer, really. Indulge yourself :)

  19. danieljuk says:

    miss your postings Le Fanu! a break is always good and hope you do blog again in future.
    one of my fave tarot blogs of all <3

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