For some time now I have been feeling less of a compulsion to write here. I have been feeling something akin to obligation. This bothers me. I receive a new deck and wonder whether I ought to put words to what I think and write a review here. Or maybe just enjoy it in silence. I do readings for myself and find that I’d rather keep it private. How odd in the age of facebook. Something I have been reflecting on recently is how my relationship with tarot, Lenormand or just cards has changed. I think about how much it used to thrill me when I first discovered card-reading. It still thrills me, but in different ways. I first got interested in tarot in the very early 1980s and the information that I absorbed at this time was very much a product of that late 70s, early 80s scene which was dominated by Kaplan and the decks of the period, 1JJ Swiss, Royal Fez Moroccan, plus The Encyclopedia of Tarot, Volume I (and no others). There were no study groups that I knew of. I learnt tarot alone. I studied meanings alone. There was no internet, no forums, no networking groups and all the other elements which have given a sense of community to card-reading over the last few years. Being an essentially solitary person, I feel an urge to return to the introspection which I think is such a instrinsic part of my relationship with tarot and which has been obfuscated by watching (and inadvertently hearing) others learn in groups. I have nothing against it and I am not criticising anyone who does it. We all learn in different ways. But I feel a need for silence right now. I feel a need to continue my journey in a vacuum for a while, to block out the noise, the crackle of interference and let tarot and card-reading speak to me on more intimate terms. In short, I want to be alone for a while. I’m sure it is just for a while, in order to loosen that uncomfortable grip of perpetually feeling that I really ought to write a post. I received a deck last week – a wonderful deck – a deck that excited me and (rubbing my hands) thought that, over the weekend, I would dutifully write a review. Then I received a new tarot book the day after, which got me thinking in different directions. Maybe I could write a review of that? Or maybe I could just keep quiet and inwardly digest, overcome the urge to say what I think and just read and come to my conclusions in silence, pull away like a boat from the shore. Oh but I see the Magic Realist Press are about to issue the third edition of the Bohemian Gothic Tarot which I love so much. Surely I won’t be able to contain myself when that one comes out? Well if I do feel I want to shout from the rooftops, I suppose I will do. But I think a period of silence and isolation is what attracts me right now. This has come about in part (OK, I shall be honest) from my own reaction to much of the Lenormand learning I see around me – disparate voices, disparate interpretations, a sense of clambouring – and some advice I have said to newbies again and again; learn in a vacuum. If you keep listening to all those voices out there, you’ll find yourself in a muddle. But like I say, people learn in different ways and who am I to stipulate what works best? I know how I learn and I want to do what’s best for me to keep my love of card-reading intact. This almost sounds like a retirement. It isn’t meant to. It’s a brief pause for breath from which I shall bounce back. Or not. I have a full life and I don’t to waste unnecessary effort on galloping to try and keep up with myself. Plus I have enough obligations. And life is too short for obligations. Above all, I want silence. And a rest. I want to bolt the door and look awhile at my cards without the disorting mirror of very public appreciation. I think I learn better that way. I shall be back I’m sure.
- Le Tarot Noir, Imagerie Médiévale Populaire; Small Review of a Large Deck
- The Deck of the Dead; Antithesis of a Gentle Tarot
- Those Holy Grail Decks
- The Burning Serpent Oracle.
- On Being Read to
- The Tyldwick Tarot; is there anybody there?
- The Destroyed Dondorf
- Press Pause
- Musings on The Moon Card
- Vampire Decks; Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here
- The Joy of Spreadcloths
- Resuscitating the Dondorf
- Mystery on a Baltic Breeze; The Stralsunder Lenormand Restored
- A Break for Holidays